From my heart.

I never thought I had anything worth another person being jealous over, until someone told me they were a little jealous over the fact that I got pregnant. It took me by surprise(I wasn't angry). Someone was jealous of me? Then I realized, that I have been able to experience a miracle that some women may never get to experience, or will have to go down a painful road to eperience. I get to feel my child grow inside of me. I actually get to have a baby. I read all kinds of blogs on here, and i've been reading blogs about women who are using medical treatments to try and conceive. My heart goes out to them. These women are stronger then i'll ever be. Through their blogs i've witness their strenght and courage. I honestly never thought i'd get to be a mom. The truth is I conviced myself I didn't deserve it. But these women know what they want. They know that being a mother was what they were made for. How could they not be gifted with a child of their own? It just doesn't seem right. My heart goes out to them, and my wish for every woman who is going through this is : That they be blessed, the way that I am blessed. That one day they will get to hear their child call them mommy(however it happens, adoption, fertility drugs). That they continue to be strong and not give up, because every woman deserves to be a mother one day.

10 more days!!

Yes, 10 more days, until my due date! I soo wish Raziel would feel like making his entrance into this world early. I look into his nursery/room and I want to cry. Mostly because i'm soo happy he'll be here soon, and a little part of me is sad because I can't hold him yet. I feel him kick, and when I lay on one side for a long time I can feel his little body as well. It's the most amazing feeling, and I can't even begin to imagine what he's going to look like when he comes out. All I feel is love and happiness in these moments. It's amazing that mine and Vash's love for one another made this little person. A perfect representation of our love for one another. My son, my angel, my new reason for being, and my little monster who kicks me like crazy. I have never known a love like this, and I am so happy that I get to experience it. Thank You Raziel for giving my life new meaning :O)

Sad evening discovery.

Yesterday after work, my co-worker and I, saw a pregnant women sitting on the floor with a sign that read, 'homeless, need $, food, or any baby things.' This bothered me so much and made me very sad. I realized( again) how fortunate and truely blessed I am. I have a home, food, and a great familythat would never allow me to end up in that kind of situation. I also felt sad for her unborn child, because I thought what kind of life is the child going to be brought up into? My son will have a nice warm home to come home to, and this child doesn't even have anything; but the protection of his or her's mother's womb for now. It was very disturbing and made my heart so heavy. So my prayers go out to that woman, and hopefully you all will pray for her as well. Pray that her child will be taken care of and loved.

3 weeks to go!!

Yup, three more weeks until my due date, and I have to say I want this baby out of me!! LOL i'm so tied al ofl the time, and for the first time in my life I have CANKLESS!! It's been a little weird these past two weeks, because Vash has another part-time job during the day now, and he's not home to cook me dinner :OP I also just miss having home when i'm home. It's weird the little things you get use to. So, I decided to go back to work part-time, because in all honesty I am a workaholic; and i don't think i'd be able to stay home all day, every day. This gives me a chance to get out for aa few hours, and still feel like i'm contributing something to our household.

We should be moving to our new apartment this weekend! Yay us!! So, while other people are enjoying their long weekend away, we'll be panting the babies new room, putting together the rocking chair, and settling into "hopefully" our last apartment, for awhile anyway. This is also my last week at work( going on maternity leave). I guess I should try to stick it out closer to my due date, but when your job requires you to stand all day, it is just to difficult. Well, just a little update :O) until next time.

6 weeks on Monday!!

Yes, six weeks on Monday, and I can't believe it. Raziel, Raziel, you are soo close, and yet soo far!. I want to hold my baby and look into his eyes. I want to smell his little feet(I have a thing for baby feet) I want to look at him asleep, and marvel at him while he is awake. I want my baby damn it!! lol. I know it's all going to come faster then I know it, but I guess all women feel this way when they get to this stage. We still have a ton of stuff to do, like move upstairs, pack my hospital bag, take a tour of the hospital, finish his room, and I think I should have a birthing plan. Hmmm. Didn't realize that there is alot to do before our baby comes! Hopefully this list will keep me occupied. Working has also been a big help with the time. I'm usually so tired afterwards that I don't think about anything, but dinner and sleep :OP Our next baby shower is in two weeks, and I am excited!! Vash and I are going to take our own pregnancy pics!! Yay I will definately post them. Till later everyone.

A little post.

Hello, it's been awhile since i've posted anything. It's just been soo busy. Well next week we'll be 8 1/2 months along, and i'm amazed at how fast the time has gone by. We had our first baby shower last friday, and it was fun. It was especially great, because my best friend came from Iraq!! The only problem is that i'm soo tired all the time, and very achy. It all comes with the pregnancy, that's what I tel myself :OP So, this was just a little up date. Hopefully Raziel comes soon. I can't wait!!

6 1/2 months!

We're six and a half months now, and Raziel is moving like crazy! :O) It's like all of a sudden he's like, "Here I am mom!" I'm so excited that I can feel him alot more. He's starting to have certain times when he moves around, and I think the sound of the blow dryer startles him. We're almost done his room, and it makes me feel at ease. I don't want to rush anything. i want to enjoy the whole process. I leave the door to his room open, just to look inside at his stuff, and I know it's not a dream. I am getting ready to begin a whole new part of my life :O) So, just a small update. Monday I have my glucose test, and on July ;O3rd we do our other 3d sonogram. I hope he has my nose!! Whatever he has I know i'll be in love, but I really really want him to have my nose. lol. So, until next time. Keep your fingers crossed for me.