Picture update.

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Razi picture time!!

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Wordless Wednesday.

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Me and my best friend, Raziel.

My best friend in the whole entire world is....... My son Raziel. We're together almost 24/7. He makes me laugh, he makes me happy, and sometimes that boy can sure make me angry. He's always there to give me a kiss and hug. He never judges me. He is an amazing little human being. He's all the goodness in the world wrapped up in a spicey , strong minded package. He is my every reason for being and the reason I don't get very much sleep(lol) He's the most amazing b.f.f a mom can have!

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We're venturing into toddler~land!

I always thought of a toddler as a two to like five year old, but i'm quickly seeing(with Raziel) that toddler~hood can come much earlier, and it's freaking me out. Raziel is entering the terrible two's and he's only going to be one! He has temper tantrums and he is soo strong willed (some say he got it from his mama :0). When he doesn't like something he goes around saying nah, nah, nah (no, no, no). Even says stop! It's just too much( smirking as I write this). When he gets upset he tries to hit you and pull your hair( that's at his worse). I just can't believe the baby phase is over so quickly. :0( Now, the upside is..... He says mama whenever he wants me and wants to be taken out of the playpen. It's the little things that makes this transition so sweet.

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Because being a mother is what I want to be.

I don't know if its because i'm almost thirty(next year yikes!), or because the day I spent with Raziel at the park was one of the best days i've had in a while; but I have made a decision with my life that is going to lead me down a completely different road. I have tried to go down this road before, but the truth is I wasn't ready. Now, having Raziel, I know i'm ready to make significant changes in my life.
I don't want to miss out on my little man growing up. I want to go to football games, I want him to have sleep overs, and I want to go to ice cream socials damn it!( my cousins daughters went to one, and I thought, that sounds awesome!!!!!) I want more children, and the truth is I can't do all of those things here in nyc.
I'm just really ready for the next step. The next phase. I just want to be a mom, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

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What do you want to be when you grow up?

     When I was a little girl I was asked this question, and i'm sure most people were asked as well as a child. I remeber I wanted to work with animals(stayed true to my childhood dream:O), but now that i'm older i've been thinking about things we were expected to say. We are thought to go after the money jobs, the attainable jobs, the jobs that support our families. But what about the two most important jobs that really don't get recognized? How many of us answered I want to be a MOM or a DAD? I know that being a parent is suppose to be second nature, but we never really treat parenthood like it's the most important thing. We tell our children to grow up and have jobs. We pay for the on-going schooling to get these jobs, but what about the lesson and the importance of being a parent? We give little girls dolls to take care of, but after a certain age we take those dolls away for more serious things. How many of us teach our sons about taking care of children?

    I'm not saying that we shouldn't teach them the importance of work, but we raise our children, and when they have their own children we say here yah go your a parent, without properly instilling the tools they will need. Most of stumble around, trying to figure out these weird little mini us.(we love them to death, but at first it's like they came from another planet! LOL) But I feel like we should be constantly teaching our children about parenthood, and if they choose not to have children that's o.k But if they choose this awesome job, we have given them the tools to do their very best :
:O)

Needing something and I think its God.

Lately ive been feeling like there is something missing in my life and I think it may be God. Im not a very religious person, but I am a spiritual one. Lately ive been feeling like something is missing, and when I baptised Raziel I got the feeling like it was God. Now, I dont think God has abandoned me, but I think I might be slowly abandoning him. The emptiness I feel, just might be my Gods way of saying, 'hey, where are you going?' I truely believe in a higher power and I really feel so much more peacefull inside of a church. So, I believe some spiritual changes need to be made.

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The love of Spongebob :0)

Raziel loves the cartoon Spongebob Square Pants. He hears the beginning song and is instantly glued to the t.v. He even sings the song!! He is so adorable! Yesterday we bought him a huge stuffed spongebob and he was so excited! Ive never seen him act that way. Viva la Spongebob! For now, lol.

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Raziel's baptism.

Raziel was baptised on Saturday 8/13/11. It was a beautiful service and he was baptised with his cousins Aiden and J.J. The three of them looked so amazing. I couldnt be more proud.

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Returning to my blog.

I haven[t written in a very long time, and the truth is I got discouraged. I love writing my blog, especially about my son, bt I came to a point where I asked, Is anyone reading this? Am I just putting my son and myself out there for no reason? Lately i've been wanting to share more of my life, more of mommy-hood with more people. I just haven't figured out how. The truth is I really like blogging and I want to continue to learn how to make my blog AWESOME! So, I guess instead of writing this blog for others, I really need to start writing for myself.

Have not posted in forever!!

I haven't written on my blog in forever!! I've been so busy with everything lately. I also felt like noone really reads my blogs, so why waste my time writing them. Sigh.......

MaMa!

Raziel said mama! I know I haven't written in a while, but my heart is sooooo happy!

Roll'n, roll'n, roll'n!

Raziel rolled over!! I am so happy and so excited that I got to be there for this milestone. It was just amazing!!

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The art of gabbing and grabbing:O)

     So, just a little Raziel update. Razi likes to talk!! Well, baby babble, but it's still talking to me. He loves telling his daddy all about his day, and if your not paying attention to him, he goes off!! LOL. I absolutely love hearing him talk when he first wakes up. It's actually the cause of some latenesses to work ;O)      He also grabs for things now. if you put something in his hand, he holds onto it. I love watching him grow and learn. He is the beast baby ever!! (Well, in my little world anyway!)

Dear Raziel,

Dear Raziel,

     I've been meaning to write this letter to you for so long. When I was pregnant I kept trying to write my emotions, but I never found the time. So, here I am, typing away. I don't know if you will ever know how much I love you, or how you have changed my life. I know I do tell you every day, and I am trying so hard to be the person that you can one day look up to. I'm so happy to be your mommy, and sometimes when I look at you I want to cry(from happiness). You have brought so much joy to my life already, and the truth is I don't know how I even lived without you in my life :O)

     The thing that I find so amazing, is the fact that you already have this stong personality. You try to test me and your daddy every day. You've found your voice, and love making noises. You also talk with us every day. Mornings are the best time to have conversations with you. You definately can be a handful sometimes, but I have to laugh, because I know you get that from me. You do this thing with your lower lip, when your sad, that just melts my heart. You have this laugh and smile, that brightens up a whole room. I love makeing up songs, and your dad plays music for you all the time.

     Your dad and I also love when we get seperate time with you. Mommy works in the mornings, and I found out that you and daddy have this whole schedule going!! You guys watch Fraggle Rock, Jack's Big music show, Maurry, Jerry Springer, and the Steve Wilko show(LOL). Dad says you laugh when Maurry says, "You are not the father!" I find this so funny! Our time together is all about silly-ness. I make funny faces at you, I take hundreds of pictures, I kiss you, and we watch t.v. Dad does these things too! We also have great family time,  like last night daddy was pretending you guys were wrestling, and you won!! Mommy did the count down. We also watch tons of movies together too. You are the cent of our whole world!!

     Now, all this attention from us is great, but i think it makes you a little spoiled :OP You love lots of attention, and love when people talk to you. Usually if your not getting alot of attention you spaz out! Baby temper tantrums are not cool!! You try to push our buttons, but you also know when enough is enough for us. Yes, we are complete push over at times, but your THE baby!!

     You just made 4 months on 1/21/11, and on that same day you sat by yourself for the first time!! YAY! You also love shoving your hands in your mouth, and you drool on everything. Your smiling, laughing, crying, exploring, and we are enjoying every minute of it!! We love you soo much. I just want to hold you and love you forever!!  Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy!! 

                                     
                                                                           Love Always,
                                                                              Mommy
                                              


                                                                                                   

A late Christmas and New Year's update!

The holidays have come and gone, but I just wanted to post up some pics. I had the best Christmas and New Years with my little man. I A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y love being a mom!!


                                                  

Just a little Razi information.

I just wanted to give a little information about the little man that has completely taken over my life. He is three months and a handful!! He has recently figured out where his hands are, and loves shoving them into his mouth. He also like to talk while shoving his hands in his mouth:O) He really isn't into toys, but loves when you talk to him. He likes the itsy bitsy spider, and is tickelish. I read to him occasionally, but really want to start reading to him every day. That means mommy needs to take a trip to B&N. He doesn't like falling asleep, and puts up the only fight. I think he thinks he's going to miss something. He smiles now, and when he's really happy he sticks out his tongue a little :P. He also is an exact replica of me, which kinda freaks me out a little(not in a bad way), just in a wow, there is a little me in this world way. He also likes it when I show him where his feet, toes, hands, and fingers are. Yes, I say, these are your feet, these are your toes, this is your hand, and these are your fing-ers. I get smiles when he's having a good day. He also love love loves his daddy! They have this bond, that i'm a little jealous of. Vash asks him how his day went, and Razi talks up a storm. Razi is an amazing baby, but I guess that's because he's my baby! LOL So, I leave you with a little video of the the little man, that has my heart.

.A bath with daddy and a babbling baby.

So, last night Razi took a shower with daddy, and he had such a good time. Razi likes baths now.( thank goodness ) We really enjoy bath time, and try to make it fun. If only you could here us!! Lol

Also Razi is quit the talker now. He gets really exited and loud. The best part is that he recognizes us!! When he sees one of us, his face lights up! It melts my heart every time. I am so so blessed!

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The ' right way', ' their way', and your way.

Nf/nIn the months leading up to Raziel's arrival I read everything I could get my hands on. I wanted to know what was going on with this life that was being created inside of me. Now that Raziel is here, I haven't read a damn thing, and this is why.

When he was born there was the ' right way to things'. I tried these things and we were not happy! For example breast feeding!! It was the most horrible time for us. He was frustrated, I was frustrated, they spoke to me about nipple confussion(nipple what!?) Blah blah blah!! Then I did it my way, and we're the happiest duo ever!

Then came 'their way'. Examples: Maybe you should feed him more. This said person proceeded to give him more ounces then he ate, but because they were doing it in a sneaky way ; they didn't add enough formula. He shouldn't lay like that. Even though that was and is the only way he sleeps comfortably. He's spoiled! But then every time he made a sound, people would pick him up!

Then there is ' your way'. This is the best way! Almost 3 months in and Raziel is thriving! We have him on a schedule, that we came up with, and he's taking to it wonderfully. I listen to what feels right to me and to my baby. So what if I hold him to much! So what if he's a little chunky! So what if I give him formula! So freaking what!(sorry venting) The truth is there is no ' right way' with a baby. ' Their way' may not work for you. So go ahead. Do it your way, because that's the best way!

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